5 Steps in Dealing with Hardships
This life was never meant to be perfect. It is as we all experience, up and down. We rise and we fall. Everyone is being tested in different ways. And Allah’s reason is to determine who qualifies for Jannah.
اَحَسِبَ النَّاسُ اَنۡ يُّتۡرَكُوۡۤا اَنۡ يَّقُوۡلُوۡۤا اٰمَنَّا وَهُمۡ لَا يُفۡتَـنُوۡنَ ﴿۲﴾ وَلَقَدۡ فَتَـنَّا الَّذِيۡنَ مِنۡ قَبۡلِهِمۡ فَلَيَـعۡلَمَنَّ اللّٰهُ الَّذِيۡنَ صَدَقُوۡا وَلَيَعۡلَمَنَّ الۡكٰذِبِيۡنَ
“Do men think that they will be left to say, ‘We believe,’ and that they will not be tested? We certainly did test those before them, and Allah will certainly know those who are true from those who are liars.” [Surah Ankaboot, verse 2-3]
The purpose of these trials is to strip away our superficial qualities to reveal our true core characters and the strength of our faith.
So how should we deal with hardships in life?
1. Have Husn-u-dhan (حسن الظن) of Allah. This means having a good perception of Allah سبحانه وتعالى. Allah loves you and would NEVER give you difficulty just for the sake of it. He loves you more than a mother loves her child. He is the Most-Loving, Most-Just, Most-Merciful, and Most-Subtle. He is The Healer of Hearts. The One Who Sees and Hears all. He knows what struggles you go through and He knows what your heart conceals before you speak itself. Nothing happens without His Will nor does it happen without a purpose. There is a Divine Purpose for everything that happens in life.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, “The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. If Allah loves a people, then He afflicts them with trials.”
Indeed the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم was the most beloved to Allah, and if there was a man to live an ideal life, it would be him; yet his life was full of hardship. He was born an orphan to his father, his mother died shortly after, followed by his grandfather, his uncle, and he continued to experience the loss of his family members until the point of his death. His trials were the greatest because he is the dearest to Allah, and indeed his reward will be the greatest.
2. This hardship won’t last forever. It will end. Allah سبحانه وتعالى beautifully reminds us of these words in the Qur’an:
فَاِنَّ مَعَ الۡعُسۡرِ يُسۡرًا ۙ ﴿۵﴾ اِنَّ مَعَ الۡعُسۡرِ يُسۡرًا ؕ
“So, verily with hardship comes ease. Verily with hardship come ease.” [Surah Ash-Sharh, verse 5-6]
And how amazing it is that we will forget every single hardship we have endured in this life with the first step into Paradise.
Part of a hadith narrated by The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم says:
“One of the people of Jannah who had experienced extreme misery in the life of this world will be dipped in Jannah. Then he will be asked: “O Son of Adam! Did you ever experience any misery? Did you ever encounter difficulty?” He will say: “By Allah, no my Rabb, I neither experienced misery nor passed through hardship.”
3. You will be rewarded for your patience, for Allah سبحانه وتعالى says:
وَلَـنَبۡلُوَنَّكُمۡ بِشَىۡءٍ مِّنَ الۡخَـوۡفِ وَالۡجُـوۡعِ وَنَقۡصٍ مِّنَ الۡاَمۡوَالِ وَالۡاَنۡفُسِ وَالثَّمَرٰتِؕ وَبَشِّرِ الصّٰبِرِيۡنَۙ ﴿۱۵۵﴾ الَّذِيۡنَ اِذَآ اَصَابَتۡهُمۡ مُّصِيۡبَةٌ ۙ قَالُوۡٓا اِنَّا لِلّٰهِ وَاِنَّـآ اِلَيۡهِ رٰجِعُوۡنَؕ ﴿۱۵۶
“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to the patient. Those who, when afflicted with calamity, say: “Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.” [Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 155-156]
In addition, trials in life are a means of cleansing us so that we reach the next life in a pure state.
“No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.” [Hadith]
4. Count your blessings. Look at those below you rather than above you. It helps you to appreciate the blessings that you take for granted. You live a life that others could only dream of. We tend to focus so much on the negatives in our lives that we become blinded to the blessings that we are adorned with. When you find yourself struggling to see through the cloud of negativity, remember that there is another person in this world going through a greater hardship. Your blessings outnumber your limitations by far.
وَاٰتٰٮكُمۡ مِّنۡ كُلِّ مَا سَاَلۡـتُمُوۡهُ ؕ وَاِنۡ تَعُدُّوۡا نِعۡمَتَ اللّٰهِ لَا تُحۡصُوۡهَا ؕ اِنَّ الۡاِنۡسَانَ لَـظَلُوۡمٌ كَفَّارٌ ﴿۳۴
“And He gave you whatever you asked for. And if you were to count the blessings of Allah, you will not be able to count them. Indeed mankind is most unjust and ungrateful.” [Surah Ibrahim, verse 34]
5. Allah The Most-Merciful does not burden a soul more than it can bear. He has put you in this situation because He knows you are strong enough to deal with it. Whenever you feel that your trial is so great, remember that it is an indication of your strength. You are stronger than you think, and Allah tests you to strengthen you. To bring you closer to Himself. To raise your rank. There is a purpose for every single thing in this world. There is a purpose for the moon and there is a purpose for the stars, and likewise, there is a purpose for your hardship. So trust in Allah! He has the knowledge of the Unseen. You may plan one thing but His Plans are far better than what you could imagine! He wants good for you.
لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللّٰهُ نَفۡسًا اِلَّا وُسۡعَهَا
“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.” [Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 286]
6. *This is a bonus step.* It is only reached by the best of the best. Those with the highest level of Imaan. The state of this believer is that their heart is always content and relaxed, free of any stress, grief, misery, and disappointment in life, and they live the happiest and most peaceful of lives. Do you know how? Their secret is Ridhaa – contentment. Contentment in the Divine Decree of Allah. That whatever befalls upon me is good for me, whether I see it as good or bad.
“Strange is the case of a believer, there is good for him in everything, and this is only for the believer. If a blessing reaches him, he is grateful to Allah which is good for him, and if an adversity reaches him, he is patient which is good for him.” [Hadith]
So do not be sad Dear Believer, for all that you’re going through is for a real ultimate purpose that you cannot yet see, but Allah sees. Your majestic palace is being built in Jannah, where you will recline upon thrones of gold, adorned in fine green silk, smelling of pure musk, where you will NEVER face any difficulty or hardship, nor will you cry or feel pain. You will be in bliss and eternal happiness forever and ever. I leave you with these powerfully soothing words:
Had Allah lifted the veil for his slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. Therefore if the pains of this world tire you, do not grieve. For it may be that Allah wishes to hear your voice by way of Dua’a. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know that verily Allah does not forget.
[Imam ibn Al-Qayyim]